Equal rights. It started as a good idea - women wanted to get out of the kitchen, not get bossed around by their husbands, maybe make a buck or two in the workforce - and nobody can really argue against that. It is a simple, logical, fundamental thing, equality...and women had the right idea in fighting for it. Right idea. Wrong plan.
"Wrong?" you might ask. "But how could suffrage and the liberation of women from a society that so fundamentally oppressed them be wrong?"
Because it has lead to the most dispicable thing I have ever seen - men wearing womens' jeans.
Yes, women have most certainly flanked us, gentlemen. Instead of attempting to match us in a contest of strength or might - a testosterone based test in which they would most certainly fail - they have used their heads, and are weaking us from our 6 o'clock.
Am I this upset about jeans? Of course not. This is not about pants. Everything that once represented masculine strength and ruggedness is now under attack.
A couple of examples:
The Nissan Exterra: Designed for the rugged outdoorsman - vinyl seats and an interior that can be cleaned with a pressure washer! Now, it is the poster-vehicle for soccer moms and granola-fed lesbians.
Cowboys: The symbol of the American male. The independant, rugged loner. The Alpha male. Now, thanks to a movie about anuual homosexual sexcapades carried out by some boys in Montana, not even the Marlboro Man seems a sensitive, weaker version of himself.
The evidence is everywhere - Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, body hair removal lotions for men, sensitivity training in the office...
The most obvious evidence that the emasculation of American men is upon us: the Metro-sexual. To get it, you simply superimpose every self-conscious quirk a typical 19 year old girl might have onto a typical male. The result is a pretty, dim, often empty shell of a man with expensive clothes and nicer shoes that his girlfriend. The eyebrow plucked, manicured specimine represents exactly what women see as an equal adversary - burdened by low self-esteem, and driven by hollywood glamour, he too now wishes to look like the model on the cover of the fashoin magazine he has taken to reading instead of the hot-rod periodical he used to peruse for the "articles." His will is weakened. His defenses are down. He lacks the fire and strength that once made him a MAN.
And so now, here we are, at a pivotal point in time. A time when MTV dating shows are made up of 6 teenage boys and no girls. A time when it is becoming a social norm for a man to know whether he is a size 8 or a size 10. A time when we must say that enough is enough.
Lets drive trucks that women can't handle. Let's demand movies that show things blowing up, scantily clad women and guys being heros. And let's wear jeans that don't castrate us, both figuratively and literally.
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