A maneuver that appears to be the brainchild of the baby-boomer parenting generation, the lowering the bar method employs a simple strategy to neutralize that most disheartening factor is determining self worth - reality.
We all need a good loss once in a while. But thanks to an overprotective generation of parents and the internet's ability to act like a steroid shot to our own narcissism, we never seem to get a chance to fall on our collective asses. We're not fat, society just idealizes anorexic models. We're not lazy, we just don't feel like exercising. We're not apathetic, we just don't like any of the political candidates out there. We're not stupid, we're just disinterested in everything but the E channel.
In a society where we refuse to delineate between winning and losing, we breed a generation that sees no need to try. Effort becomes solely directed at self-graitification. For the ability to please one's self is the only remaining feeling of "success." There is then less motivation to strive to reach great heights than there is to get high, or full. Hard work? Why? Change the world? Nah, someone else will change it.
We become absolutely passive.
Until something gets in the way of our gratification. Then we fight like wild animals. It's what the old timers used to call be "spoiled."
There is a simple cure, as I alluded to before. Reality. Break the cycle and tell the truth to yourself and your kids. If the soccer game score was 21-0 - he or she lost. Let them own that. Toss the participation trophy and let them realize that losing sucks. And hard work prevents it. If you can't see your toes without a mirror - you're fat. Own it. Hard work prevents it. Taking pills to feel better about your life? Something about your life sucks. Hard work can change it.
The danger of this idea is that hard work - even the greatest effort - is sometimes not enough. Sometimes we try and fail. Sometimes we lose. In fact more often than not, we lose. But that's real. And until we are willing to lose, we'll never have any real chance to win.
We all need a good loss once in a while. But thanks to an overprotective generation of parents and the internet's ability to act like a steroid shot to our own narcissism, we never seem to get a chance to fall on our collective asses. We're not fat, society just idealizes anorexic models. We're not lazy, we just don't feel like exercising. We're not apathetic, we just don't like any of the political candidates out there. We're not stupid, we're just disinterested in everything but the E channel.
In a society where we refuse to delineate between winning and losing, we breed a generation that sees no need to try. Effort becomes solely directed at self-graitification. For the ability to please one's self is the only remaining feeling of "success." There is then less motivation to strive to reach great heights than there is to get high, or full. Hard work? Why? Change the world? Nah, someone else will change it.
We become absolutely passive.
Until something gets in the way of our gratification. Then we fight like wild animals. It's what the old timers used to call be "spoiled."
There is a simple cure, as I alluded to before. Reality. Break the cycle and tell the truth to yourself and your kids. If the soccer game score was 21-0 - he or she lost. Let them own that. Toss the participation trophy and let them realize that losing sucks. And hard work prevents it. If you can't see your toes without a mirror - you're fat. Own it. Hard work prevents it. Taking pills to feel better about your life? Something about your life sucks. Hard work can change it.
The danger of this idea is that hard work - even the greatest effort - is sometimes not enough. Sometimes we try and fail. Sometimes we lose. In fact more often than not, we lose. But that's real. And until we are willing to lose, we'll never have any real chance to win.
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